Ancient of Days

My new favorite name for God is “Ancient of Days”.  Am I allowed to have favorite names for God or is that sacrilegious.  Are all His names perfectly holy and I have to like them all the same?  If so, I’m doomed but right now the title Ancient of Days captures the way I am learning to see God perfectly.

Way, way, way back in the day, we sang this song in church called “Ancient of Days”, but the song had no bearing on the name any more than if we’d used the word Jesus or God or any of His other names; it just happened to be metrically pleasing.  But the significance of this name has hit me strongly as I write a paper that has consumed my life for the past three months.

My paper is not about God.  I am writing it for a rhetoric and drama class in which we studied Shakespeare, but my blessed, wonderful professor allowed us to write our papers on anything that interested us, provided it tied back to the class somehow, and I chose That Hideous Strength, by C.S. Lewis.  There are a million things to be said about this fantastic book (the third in his Space Trilogy), but because specificity becomes more important as you progress in your education, I had to focus on a specific area and I chose the use of Arthurian legend.

Because I have written a 15 page paper about this and am tired of picking apart the details of the story, I refuse to give you a summary of the plot other than this: It’s about this evil corporation that is trying to take over the world and this small group of people on the other side trying, with the help of King Arthur’s spiritual heir and Merlin, to stop them.  Does that sound confusing?  I hope I haven’t ruined the whole book for you and now you won’t read it. GO READ IT.   

In working so heavily with both the concept of myth and the writings of Lewis, however, I have learned a great deal about Christ.  The Arthurian legend is filled with Christian symbolism (Arthur as a messianic figure uniting a torn country under the banner of Christ, for instance) and mythology (Holy Grail, anyone?), and Lewis turns this to advantage in his very modern, fairly sci-fi novel.  The idea behind myth, for him, is that it is great on its own, regardless of the manner of telling, because it contains a glimpse of reality.  That reality is defined by Christ and all good myths contain this critical, beautiful undertow back to Christ.  Throughout the Arthurian mythology, you see the constant current of symbolism and the Gospel.  In fact, these under-pinnings in Christianity are by no means limited to “Christian mythology”.  They are universal.

A myth is universal and timeless. Lewis translates the Arthurian legend into a modern setting to demonstrate what a powerful pull on our hearts these heroic legends have, and his point is that they have this pull because they lead to God and we are wired to need God.

The awe we have of Arthur, the once and future king (to borrow the apt wording of T.H. White), is an awe that God deserves.  The story of Christ is myth, but it is myth fulfilled.  The legend of the “dying god” is pervasive throughout history but only in Christ is it realized as history.  By becoming reality, the story does not lose its mythic qualities.  The myth gains the status of truth that is venerable.

Tolkien, in describing fairy-tales, talks about the “eucastastrophe” that is necessary for a good fairy-story, the perfect and near-impossible “happy ending”, but Tolkien carries the analogy to the Gospel, saying, “ But this story has entered History and the primary world; the desire and aspiration of sub-creation had been raised to the fulfilment [sic] of Creation. The Birth of Christ is the eucatastrophe of Man’s history.  The Resurrection is the eucatastrophe of the story of the Incarnation.  This story begins and ends in joy” (On Fairy Stories 65).  

As I read the Bible, I realize this is true.  The stories we were awed by as children but read as rote now that we’re grown regain (with the added fire maturity and greater comprehension brings) their original awe-factor.  God is not just some “being” in the sky with all sorts of power and knowledge.  Jesus is not a cool historical figure like George Washington.  Jesus is Immanuel (God with us!  Think about THAT for a moment), the myth of the dying god realized in infant, child and man form, and God is the Ancient of Days, the undying, unchanging, awe-ful (in the archaic sense) I AM.

Relationships (Religion is Stupid)

Guys, here’s the deal. Religions are stupid. Any idiot can come up with Religion. Case in point:

Behold! I, Ben Michaels, have been appointed as the Great Prophet for the Grand Poo-Bah, who farted the earth into existence before time began. This appointment occurred during my quest for a bathroom in the electronics section of Wal-Mart. The electronics section is in the back; however, I had been blinded to the fact that Wal-Mart’s bathrooms are located in the front of the building. Now it came to pass that, while I was searching in vain, I stumbled into the employee break room at Wal-Mart. Lo and behold, a Great Spirit emanating from the toaster oven spoke these words to me:
“It is I, the Grand Poo-Bah, who farted the earth into existence and who has been screwing over mankind since time began. Tremble in fear, mortal, and mess your hosiery, for I have chosen you to be my Prophet to peoples of this earth.”
And I looked, and there before me a vision of the afterlife appeared. I saw individuals of the past all living and working in a great Wal-Mart in the sky for eternity. I saw John D. Rockefeller as front line manager, while Mother Theresa stocked the frozen foods section. The toaster oven spoke again:
“This is what happens to all who die on this earth. I have too many employees stocking feminine articles and frozen foods. Clearly, these mortals on earth do not understand how to live their lives in order to improve their rank in the next life. That is why I have chosen you, Ben Michaels, as my Prophet. You are to give these 10 Precepts to the world and they are to obey, or risk stocking feminine articles for eternity. Thus speaketh I, and thus I have spoken.”
The 10 Precepts were as follows:
1. Dishonest gain is the only gain. Swindle everyone. Fraud will get you management in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky.
2. Speed up for creatures. Cats are worth 10 points. Little old ladies are worth 50 points. Hitting your mom guarantees salvation.
3. Never, under any circumstances, use the toaster oven in the Wal-Mart break room. Doing so will result in instant condemnation to the feminine articles section in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky.
4. Your rank in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky is determined by your obedience to the Precepts, your ponderings of the Naoks, and how much your hair resembles Donald Trump’s.
5. Bald males are condemned to stocking the feminine articles in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky. If they are good, they can stock frozen food. This can all be avoided if they wear a toupee in this life.
6. You must be slightly more fanatical then Mormans. Crusades, going door-to-door, and pondering the Naoks are strongly encouraged.
7. Deodorant is the spawn of evil. Shun it. Avoid silverware, as well.
8. Screw over as many people in this life. The more people you screw over, the more people you’ll rule over in the next life.
9. Homeschoolers are the metaphorical Jedi of this life. In the next life, they’ll be actual Jedi.
10. If you seek guidance from the Grand Poo-Bah, he will give you revelations if you stare at the milk left over from Cinnamon Toast Crunch long enough.
In order to open our conciseness to an awareness of the Grand Poo-Bah, I have been given the following 11 Naoks, which are simple questions and concepts. Pondering these will open your mind to an awareness of the Grand Poo-Bah. This will aid your rank in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky.

The 11 Naoks are as follows:
1. When does the armadillo excrement become The Fragrance?
2. Can your ride the donkey before you quash the volcano?
3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
4. How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
5. Your mom.
6. If the water is cold, can you clean the white board?
7. How are English muffins, muffins?
8. Chuck Norris.
9. How many boards could the Mongols hoard if the Mongol Hordes got bored?
10. What would you do if you were locked in a room with a Buddhist monk and a meat tenderizer?
11. The word, “cereal,” when repeated over and over again.

By following the Precepts and developing an awareness of the Grand Poo-Bah by pondering the Naoks, you will attain a job paying higher than minimum wage in the Great Wal-Mart in the Sky. All this has been revealed to me, Ben Michaels, the Great Prophet, appointed by the Grand Poo-Bah who farted the world into existence. Thus speaketh I, and thus I have spoken.

There. I’m done. I guess that’s why I’m glad I don’t follow a religion. Christianity isn’t about rules, rituals, or steps to get your free ticket into heaven. It’s about a relationship with Jesus. Getting to know him any way we can in this life. And that beats any religion.

Study Hard (Becoming a Nerd)

“This college will turn you into such a nerd.” Jon chuckled, while nodding sagely. Everyone in my life group chuckled nervously in response and looked at him with questioning looks.
“Like, when I got my text books I was like, “Yes! New text books!” He told us, trying to explain life at Christian college to a bunch of freshmen, who are really just high schoolers in disguise. We clearly just didn’t understand because he just threw his hands up, smiled, and said, “You’ll find out.”

Today was the first day of classes here at Ozark Christian College. Up til now it’s felt like 4th grade camp. Teary-eyed parents wondering if I’ll be ok. Crazy friends made and bonded with in 24 hours. Spiritual counselors (life group leaders). Cabin counselors (RAs). Running around playing crazy games, learning rules, and listening to bible lessons.

But today, on the first day of class, I’ve learned why it’s not camp. You have to work. Hard. Papers are long and frequent. Memorizing large sections of scripture is required. Reading is long and, sometimes, pretty dry.

But I love it. Even after the first day, I love it all. Everyone does. Not just nerds, or kids on fire for God, or wiz kids. Everyone is immersed in their homework. We can’t wait to study. We love our school. We’ve become nerds.

Probably because all of realize something. We’re all studying the Bible. So if there’s one thing in which to immerse yourself, one thing worth being nerdy about, one thing to study until it comes out your ears, it’s this. The Bible is beautiful. It’s true. It never changes. It’s meaningful. It’s the only text book on the planet with any meaning and truth to it. More so than science, music, or math.

So yeah. We’re nerds. We’re studying hard. We’re getting nothing short of A’s. We’re not going to procrastinate. We’re gonna study from noon to 9 most days. We’re gonna work ahead. We’re gonna over-achieve. It’s worth it.

This is school.

This is the Bible.

This is Christian College.

Christmas Vs. Easter (A Match Made in Heaven)

It's THAT year. I don't know how this idea of THAT year started, but it's THAT year. It's a bittersweet concept. See, THAT year is when we have our huge family reunion at Christmas time. I don't know about your family, but when my extended family gets together it's the most awesome, stressful, fun, crazy, disappointing time that can be crammed into a week and a half. Obviously, not every year is THAT year. Our family is pretty spread out around the country so THAT year only happens every two or three years or so. On off years, it's really just me, my mom and dad, and my siblings and maybe that awesome aunt and uncle that come in from California just to see us. On off years, we have our own little traditions. We read the same book during December, we have our own little Christmas eve celebration, our own decorations, our own tree, and our own order to how Christmas day goes. It's great.

But it's THAT year. All our traditions and things we love about Christmas are thrown out the window in a whirlwind of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, bickering, laughter, game nights, home cooked meals, and grandma's pie.

So which one do I prefer? I don't know. I know what's gonna happen on the off years. I like it. But anything goes on THAT year. That's what makes THAT year so bittersweet.

I guess everyone has their own image of Christmas. How it should be. Snow. Mistletoe. Carols. Family. Food. Presents. Lights. Everyone loves Christmas. It, literally, is the highlight of the year. The best movies come out at that time. Stores around the country that have been in the red all year suddenly see their sales spike. The whole country is just a happier, merrier place. Everyone knows what happens on December 25th and gets excited about it. Even the grinches.

This is where you punch your computer screen in because now I've gotten you in the Christmas spirit in mid-August. Sorry about that. Christmas is the highlight of the year.

But what about Easter?

See. Easter is nothing compared to Christmas. It's kinda of a letdown, actually. On Christmas, you get presents and everyone's warm and fuzzy and cozy. Easter, however, is really the only day you HAVE to go to Church without risking losing all your Christian points (You get a "get out of church free" card at Christmas, though). Maybe you get a couple chocolates in a basket (that is, if you follow that demonic cult called the Easter Bunny). Whoop-dee-doo.


You get the same amount of chocolates in your Christmas stocking and that doesn't even include the presents. And that's holy chocolate. Jesus gives you chocolate at Christmas. If you get an egg or chocolate at Easter, though, that's Demon-spawn.

Now, we're all Christians here. We know the true meaning of Christmas and Easter (HINT: Santa and the Easter Bunny are NOT involved). So isn't Easter just as, if not more, significant as Christmas?

So what gives? Why is Christmas so much more fun than Easter?

I don't know for sure, but I can't help but think that we enjoy Christmas more because of the presents and "spirit" and commercialization. But that's just me.

I guess the key is that Christmas and Easter are equally significant. Ultimately, they don't mean squat without the other. They're inextricably linked. It's like they're married. They're both are the happiest times of the year. We should remember that.

So enjoy your Christmas. I'm going to. It is, after all, THAT year. Unto us a Savior is born.

And enjoy your Easter, too. He is Risen. It's party time.

So Merry Christmas! And Happy Easter!

Living in the Future

So with my impending nuptials and finals for school, you can imagine I have been pretty swamped.  It's like I'm a speeding bullet aimed towards this one point in time: the wedding.  Everything that happens at the house, almost everything I talk about, everything I think and do are all aimed toward that goal.  One of the things I thought as I drove home for probably the last time that I could call it that was how much I wanted to live in each moment and enjoy my last moments as my mom and dad's little girl.  But each moment instead focuses on the moment when I become a Mrs., take a new name and find a new home with my husband.

When does this forward living stop?  When we are young all we think about is being a "grown-up".  We are always asked what we want to be and do.  In high school we think about college, in college we think about our career.  Right now I move toward my wedding, then people will start asking about kids and then when we do have kids, everybody will want to know what our kids are going to do and then when the kids are gone, when retirement will happen.  For a world of trite sayings on cutesy wall plaques stating that life is a journey and to stop and smell the roses and live in the moment, every single person seems to push us forward onto whatever is the next thing.  It can be extremely stressful, like when people ask me what I want to do with my degree.  I don't know!  How am I supposed to know?  I majored in a Liberal Arts field!  There is NOTHING to do!

This constant living in the future is difficult, taxing and unBiblical.  "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)  

"Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”" (James 4:13-15)  

People are predicting Jesus will come back May 21.  I don't really think it's very likely.  But I don't know what will happen tomorrow, like James says.  We are called to live for Christ, one step at a time.  So yes, my man and I can talk about baby names and where we would like to live someday and what we want in a house and things like that.  But the only real thing worth doing is living for Christ right here and right now.  Hopefully I can remember that these next few weeks and the rest of my life.  Tomorrow will care for itself, and if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.

Sarah 

Double Takes (A Day in the Life)

So have you ever had a double take while reading the Bible? Like a “whoa, THAT just happened. In the Bible. It JUST said that.” You’re so taken aback by this unexpectedly simple piece of narration that you have to read it twice. It’s like it makes sense. Like it’s well-written.


This happens to me every time I crack open the Good Book. Probably because I don’t read it nearly as often as I should. And by read, I mean read. I went (am going) through a phase where I studied the Bible in minute detail. I’m a Bible Bowler AND an Awana alumni. I could quote 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus for you. I do not need my table of contents to look up Nahum 2:4. I know where it is. You could say I know my Bible really well. I studied it. I’ve earned scholarships to Christian colleges because I know it so well. But I’ve never read it very much.


Lately, however, it’s been different. It makes me sound like an old person, but I HAVE to read something before I go to sleep. Generally, it’s some dumb novel that I’ve grabbed off the shelf. But I’ve run out of dumb novels to grab off the shelf. So, I’ve started reading my Bible. Like it's a novel. Because that’s what it is. A story. Of epic proportions. I’ve realized how much we miss when we focus only on books and chapters and verses and headers.


It’s well written. It’s ordinary writing about extraordinary events. There’s a human element to it.


Even the New Testament letters are interesting when you hear about all the names and people and then relate them to Acts. I love the portion in Acts during the riot in Ephesus where it says, “The assembly was in confusion: Some were shouting one thing, some were shouting another. Most of the people did not even know why they were there.”

This isn’t a crowd of evil no-gooders who hate Jesus and love Satan. This is just a crowd of people. Ordinary people who are swept up in the mob mentality.


Or, in Genesis, you can hear the sarcasm when Joseph’s brothers see him in the distance and say, “Here comes that dreamer!”


But what really hit me as I read the Bible recently is Matthew 14. You look at the headers and you see three, seemingly unrelated, unconnected, stories: John the Baptist is beheaded, Jesus feeds the 5,000, and Jesus walks on water. But they’re not unrelated at all. Matthew certainly didn’t write it that way.


We miss a lot when we jump from header to header while we study and not read.


There are two, key verses here that you would never read together because they’re separated by a header that some editor made up. “And John the Baptist’s disciples came and took John’s body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus. When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.”


See? Doesn’t that read better? Transitions!


It goes on. “Hearing of this, the crowds followed Jesus on foot from the towns.”


They followed Jesus! Of all the nerve! I mean, c’mon. Jesus just lost his cousin. His ally. Because of a whim of Herod. Jesus wants some alone time. But the crowds follow him! So when Jesus gets off his boat to get some serious quiet time, he sees a crowd of people waiting for him. They want him to teach them. Again. They want him to heal Grandma’s gout. Again. C’mon! Can’t they see that Jesus has problems of his own? If there was a time for Jesus to snap, this is it. But does he shout, “Go away! I’m sick of all your little problems!’?


No! It says, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”


He even fed them. Everyone.


Then, finally, after they’re fed and the disciples are sent off on the boat, Jesus can have his quiet time. That was, after all, the idea. But it gets better.

It’s windy. The disciples in the boat aren’t going anywhere fast. So even with their head start, Jesus is able to catch up with them.

By walking on water.

A day in the life of Jesus.

What have YOU read in the bible lately?

I am Eve

I identify a lot with Eve. When I hear a pastor talk about her, I perk up as though they are talking about me. Ultimately I feel as though they are really and truly telling my story when they tell hers. If somebody speaks ill of Eve, I bristle like they've insulted me and would defend her as readily as I'd defend myself--because in my mind I am her.

Her ultimate sin is the same as mine--pride. She wanted to be like God. She wanted to be wise, she wanted answers. It seemed to her there was no obvious reason she shouldn't have them. The act of defiance, the first sin, was an assertion of independence from God, though ultimately the act of enslavement to sin, a far worse master.

I think at the heart of things I must simply be Eve all over again.

The original sinner, you understand?

I want answers. I want knowledge. It's suffocation just being a piece in God's greater puzzle when I want to see the bigger picture. I don't want to be in a role blindly, not knowing what effect I will have on the greater story. Like Eve, I am naïve and susceptible to lies. A child of that Mother of All People, the Dawn of the Human Race, I was born fallen and confused, incapable of separating lies from the Truth. In my childness, I am prey to every serpent that crosses my path. My heart is tumultuously torn from love to love, till each new passion means nothing and the great power of my emotions (once a perfect gift of a fiery God) is valueless. I have traded love of God for love of self, and love of service (that service for which I was created) for love of domination, which sometimes masquerades under the stolen title of "Freedom".

Ultimately the only thing that separates me from Eve is Jesus.

--Sarah

Secret Symbols (Taking it Underground)

Ok. This post is legit. I'm so recycling this post. Like, our 118th post on this blog, when we have millions of readers nationwide and a book deal (hint, hint), will be a recycled version of this post. It's THAT legit.

So I work at the airport. I see a lot of people there. The other day I saw a guy with a Summit Ministries t-shirt on. Here are the thoughts that went through my head:
1. Whoa. This guy's from Summit Ministries. They're legit. This guy's a legit Christian. He's probably gonna evangelize to me right now.
2. Why isn't he evangelizing to me?
3. Why am I not evangelizing to him?
4. Did I just Jesus Juke myself?
5. I wish there was some secret hand sign or some secret symbol so I could let him know I'm a Christian too. To let him know I'm a "brother-frum-another-mother", if you will. Or if he will. What?

So yeah. That's how it went. I think I said something like, "nice shirt" and he mumbled something like, "What? oh, uh, thanks." No prayer, no revival, no baptisms or mass evangelism, or even speaking in tongues. But, hey, he was a brother. And I knew it. And he knew it. Cool.

So what are some symbols we Christians can use so we can stand out to each other in the crowd? Why aren't we so filled with the Holy Spirit that we stand out in the crowd anyway? (oops. That's another post) So here some symbols we can have:

1. The "I Love You" sign language sign.
This one's pretty simple. You hold you hand out and curl your middle and ring fingers, leaving your thumb, pointer finger, and pinky extended. I think it's a hybrid of the sign language letters I, L, and U (go figure). I don't know why this particulare sign is "Christian", but it is. Maybe I just hang out with too many people from Deaf Missions and not enough deaf people. This sign is deceptively like the "rock on" or worse, "Go Texas Longhorns." (I just lost 5% of my readers with that crack) The key is the thumb. That way, if you flash it to non-christians they'll just think, "Huh? Oh, uh, rock on. Go Longhorns." But if you flash it to a Christian you can just call each other siblings of God and greet one another with a holy kiss then and there.

2. The Chi Rho.
This is a wierd one. Sorta. The Chi Rho (Key-Roe) are the greek letters for "Christ". It's basically and X and a P on top of each other. I think you could be creative with this one, but this would be a symbol you'd wear. Maybe like a pin, or a necklace. Or earrings. Or all of them. Non-christians will call it "blingy-bling." But we'll know better. It's so much more. Plus you'll get bonus points during the holiday season when you can explain what the X in X-mas REALLY means (Oh, devil, you can TRY to secularize Christmas with your demonic little elves, but we will FIND away around it).

But when I think of this idea of secret symbols and how I wish we had them, I'm struck by three thoughts:

1. Are non-christians going to copy these? Like, will they notice all the "cool" people are wearing these symbols and will copy them in an attempt to be "cool" too? Am I starting a trend with this? Ooh. Will this be "the Mark" for Christians like in Revelations? Am I single-handedly kick-starting the end times? How square feet in my heavenly mansion did I just lose for thinking that last sentance?

2. Christians used to have a secret symbol. In ancient Rome, when Christians were persecuted, they would use the Ichthys, or fish symbol, to mark themselves as Christians without being obvious. (This is how you do it in emoticon speak: ><>. Can you see it???) They wore their religion on their sleeve. They had gall. But they weren't stupid. What hasn't changed that I want that kind of symbol again? Christians love each other. We want to find each other. We want to hang out (or fellowship). Of course we want a public way to declare to each other who we are. But we're also persecuted. People think we're wierd. (Awww... we're so persecuted... We get weird looks at the grocery store... so intimidating... how can we be public about our christianity in the face of THAT?? I mean, I know in other countries Christians are bold about their faith in the face of getting thrown in pits and their heads crushed by large stones, but still... I mean, I HATE it when people think I'm wierd... but THAT'S another post too). So we need to go underground in our fellowship. We need to be subtle.

3. What changed that we don't have that kind of symbol anymore? I'll tell you what changed: the church. In ancient Rome if you were a Christian, that was it. There was only one church. They didn't worry about whether the other Christians were Babtists, or Methodists, or Catholics, or Lutherans. They just knew that if the other people would say "Jesus is Lord" and that was good enough with them. It was party time then and there on the spot. But if we had a Christian symbol now, how would you define a "Christian"? Who would be allowed to wear it? Would we invite the Catholics? Or the Lutherans? I mean, THEY can go either way, right? We only want "legit" Christians to wear this, right?

I don't know. I don't have all the answers. Or very many, in fact. I think anyone, Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Evangelical, immersed, or sprinkled, anyone who has the boldness to wear their religion, their Savior, on their sleeve is "legit" enough for me. I'd want to meet that person. If they want to wear the "new" Christian symbol, let em'.

So what about you? What would be a good "secret" Christian symbol?

Wandering Off (Pretty)

I don’t mean to wander off, really.  I’m safer when I’m near my Father, and happier.  He protects me and loves me; I know this, and more than just knowing it, I feel it.  These times when I stray away aren’t a purposeful movement--at least, not as a whole.  They start with one little step.  Not even a step off the path.  Maybe they don’t even start with a step.  Maybe the start when I let go of His hand, and try to walk on my own.  I’m next to Him still and can still hear His voice and He can reach down and catch me any time.  It’s just that my hand is hot and I’m a big girl now.  I don’t see a dark and nasty sin and go running after it.  It’s the little things that lead me off.  The “pretties”.

You should know what a pretty is.  All little girls do, I’m sure.  Girls are obsessed with pretty things almost from the moment their born.  It’s one of the first words they learn to say, and once it enters the vocabulary, it is in common usage.  Mommy’s new dress is “pretty” and when she does the little girl’s hair in braids, the little girl is “pretty” too.  And then there’s that pretty tea set that’s up in the china cupboard covered in dainty roses.  And one day, a cup and saucer sit on the table, right where the little girl’s dazzled eyes can see them, and her eager hands can reach them.  In a few seconds and with a good, loud smash, the “pretty” is in many pieces on the floor.  The little girl sits and cries over the “pretty” because it is gone.

It’s like being a little girl in a garden.  All the flowers are pretty, and a well tended garden has beautiful flowers right near the path in easy sight.  All I want to do is pick every single flower and put them in my hair so I can be pretty too, but of course that is against the rules, and my Father is watching me.  And then something--maybe a butterfly, or a distant flower, or a bird--catches my eye.  Whatever it is, it’s a pretty and my girlish heart wants to have it.  I walk after it slowly, carefully judging.  But it’s always just a little beyond me.  Pretty soon I have forgotten everything except the pretty thing I am chasing excitedly.  I don’t realize anything might be wrong.

Until I look up.  The world is not so pretty any more.  The flower garden is gone, the pretty thing I have been chasing is gone, and worst of all, Father is not right beside me any more.  I didn’t think I’d wandered that long or gone that far.  And surely He would have called me back if I had gone off--or maybe He did.  I wasn’t really listening.  In fact, I had kind of forgotten all about Him.  At those moments nothing looks beautiful any more.  The only thing that is pretty at that moment is home and my Daddy’s protective arms.  Of course, I didn’t think about that when I wandered off.  It’s only now, when I am lost and scared, that I realize the only beautiful thing in the world--the thing that makes every other thing “pretty”--is my Father.

Purity In Rules (Dodgeball is Lame)

I don’t know about you, but dodge-ball is as close to hell as it can get during youth group. Nothing says “I love Jesus” than getting smoked in the face with a big, rubber ball or having to get skin grafts for all the rug burns. Maybe I’m just bitter. That happens when you lose too many times at that game. You know the worst part? The chaos. There’s one rule: Bean the other kids. Especially if they have glasses. Now, of course, the youth pastor always adds weird rules to make things more “fun”. These rules generally go like this: “Ok, it’s like normal dodgeball, but when I shout ‘jamboree hulla-balloo’ you can cross over to the other side and hit people with balls and touch the people who are already out so they can get back in and we’ll release wild badger to maul random people and, oh yeah, you can punch people. But only with the love of Jesus. So don’t anger the badger. The winning side gets a +4 handicap when we play our death match of Red Rover AFTER this…”

I guess I’m a board game guy. I like rules. Less chaos. They make things fun. Especially when playing games.

Love’s a game right?

So even though I’m totally not qualified to be righting this, I’m gonna point it out: Christians have a lot more rules when it comes to romantic relationships. Maybe as the outsider in the whole relationship things, I only see the weird rules but there seem to be so many! And I’m not talking about the obvious save-sex-for-marriage rules. There are some weird ones out there.

1. The guy must ask at least 5 people if he can marry the girl.
Ok, we all know he has to ask her dad if he can ask for her hand in marriage, but there’s a LOT of other people he’s gotta ask too. His best friend. Her best friend. His accountability partner(s). His pastor. His counselor. Their couples’ counselor. Oh yeah, and the girl (but really, by that time she has very little say). By that time, the secret’s about as well kept as the super bowl results. The worst part is they all ask the same question: “Are you sure???” Think about that.

2. They MUST do a bible study together.
This one can vary on whether the couple does a private, one-on-one bible study or whether they go to a group bible study “at the same time” (You do not go to a bible study as “couple” unless it is a “couple’s bible study”. Couple’s bible studies are strictly reserved for the married. In all other bible studies, all romantic relationships are temporarily cut off because God hates it when people try to love each other AND Him. They might get distracted.). But, hey, if they’re not showing some semblance of focusing on God in their relationships, that surely means they’re, you know, super worldly and physical and might be as far in as... well... kissing or something! Horrors!

3. They must “leave room for the Holy Spirit.”
Ah, the young and restless! Everyone knows that if two people of the opposite sex under the age of 40 touch each other in ways other than a “prayer hand-hold” or a “Christian back rub”, no matter how accidental, they’re instantly going to jump into bed with each other. They must stay at LEAST one bible-length away from each other. And not one of those little Gideon pocket Bibles or a thinline. No, we're talking the big, coffee-table sized family Bible with all the births and deaths and marriages since your great-great-great-grandfather, Leif Olafson, immigrated from Norswedemarklandia to Minnesota. Nobody ever can agree which country he came from.

4. The terms “dating” and “girlfriend/boyfriend” are taboo.
Hi Steve, who’s this sister in Christ you brought with you? What’s that? She’s more than a sister to you? Oh. Well, how long have you two been courting? I certainly hope you haven’t been ALONE with her, because that might mean you’re DATING. And she’s your GIRLFRIEND. Such worldly language! I mean, you might as well call her your “mistress” that you’ve been “fornicating” with. I mean, THAT’S the fast track to hell… So you’re courting, right? I’ll be happy to be your accountability partner when you struggle with lust in this romantic relationship.

I’m pretty sure Joshua Harris, Author of I Kissed Dating Good-bye, single-handedly created that last one. But you know what? As much as they’re goofy and fun to mock, these rules started SOMEWHERE. They are not arbitrary. There are good reasons to follow them, and it’s a slippery slope not to.

See, the key to these rules can be wrapped up in one word: purity. THAT’S worth following the rules for. Rules make things goofy. Rules make things fun. Rules make things pure.

So cheers. Here’s to Christian relationships and all the goofy, wild, stupid, crazy, amazing times that go with them.

What are some crazy things you’ve done for your Christian relationship?

God's Favorite Instrument

Pipe organs drive me crazy.  Not the sound or anything.  That’s actually pretty cool.  But the fact that they look symmetrical if you aren’t paying attenting, but if you actually compare them, they AREN’T.  The longest pipe on one side is much longer than the corresponding longest pipe on the other.  It has this weird effect that makes me feel lopsided while I am in the same room as one. Plus, if you've ever heard a pipe organ play "Standing on the Promises", all you need to do is add a mad monkey playing crash cymbals and it can make you feel like you're riding a demon-possessed merry-go-round from Mary Poppins. It's bad enough that that movie is of the devil, it's even worse that this effect makes you want to go to the bathroom (so ease up on the communion grape juice).

But this is all beside the point - except for its being to defend my belief that (and I may be martyred for this but I stand by what I believe to be true) organ is not God’s favorite instrument.  It may have been Bach’s favorite instrument and Bach may have been God’s favorite composer (I know neither of these for a certainty) but it doesn’t follow that God would not have been equally, or more, pleased had Bach used his fugue-writing talents to compose fugal quartets for bagpipes.  It seems according to current trends, however, that if Bach were still composing today and wanted to be God’s favorite, his fugues would be written for guitar.  I don’t think God prefers electric or acoustic, but He asks that you have a soul patch (or really any facial hair), or a hat that looks like a prop from a movie set in the 1930s, or wear some sort of plaid while you play acoustic. And, of course, some "on-purpose bed head" and enough hair gel to immobilize a giraffe.  And Bach probably would have stuck with acoustic because the limitations of writing fugues for power chords so all aspiring but lazy electric guitarists could play them would have been too painful.  I do feel, though, that Bach’s look could have been dramatically improved by the addition of “the Crowder” (if you don’t know what that is, shame on you, you dirty heathen), a good plaid hat, and some flannel. Bach, too, would have to be addicted to coffee and would probably whip up a Venti Mocha Frappaccino multiple times while on stage.

The question of music in church is a matter of great contention and anger among Christians.  Hymns versus praise music, instruments versus a cappella, guitars, pianos, organs, tambourines, drums, electric, acoustic, loud, soft, simple, complex, choirs, pan flutes... Okay maybe that last one isn’t every debated.  But it’s a crying shame.  So here are some of the most underappreciated instruments in the world that I think need to be given more attention and maybe become God’s new favorite instrument:

Pan flute

This lovely, soft, airy instrument has a lovely, meditative sound, perfect for prayer times, communion and punctuating the sermon.  It’s such a gentle sound that it could even make a lovely, Hobbit-like soundtrack to illustrate things a little.  How great would a sermon on Psalm 23 be? (The Lord is my shepherd... *enter pan flute sweetly*)  The major downside is anything over 5 minutes would have the audience snoring peacefully and then nobody could hear the panflutes over the freight-train rumble of 85-year-old Bob Finkerton in the back row. Talk about making a Joyful Noise.

Rainsticks

This is potentially the most illustrative instrument in the world.  Right?  Right?  I mean, c’mon, all the song "Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling" (which, by the way, has about the same theological meaning as a turkey) is missing is a good rainstorm.  

Didgeridoo 

Those poor people down under don’t get enough love.  This instrument can scare the living daylights out of people if used in the right (or wrong, depending on the people) place. But that would wake up Mr. Finkerton who fell asleep during the pan flute solo (see above).  It lends such a nice tribal, ethnic sound to things. Plus, it's just a fun word to say, like "garbanzo bean". An Awesome God definitely needs an awesome didgeridoo.  

  

Bagpipes

This, for me, is the clear winner.  Who doesn’t feel like crying patriotically when they hear bagpipes?  We’re all Scottish at heart, right?  Michael W. Smith’s instrumental album Freedomfeatures the bagpipes strongly in the song Hibernia.  This man has done so much to promote this instrument as God’s new favorite and who are we to say nay to Michael W. Smith himself?  He’s the godfather of praise music! The problem is finding bagpipes players. Have you ever met a novice bagpipes player? Or met a bad bagpipes player? Or someone just learning the bagpipes? I think these people pop out of their mothers' wombs just KNOWING how to play. Or they spend long periods of time out alone. Learning the bagpipes. Where no one can hear them. But that's ok  because, what's that? Bagpipes are DEAFENING indoors you say?  Did you?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!! THE BAGPIPES ARE DROWNING YOU OUT!!!!  LALALALA!!! IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

But seriously, folks, you want my real, down-to-earth opinion about what is the most underused instrument in worship these days?  

The people.

Everything about them.  Their voices, their hearts, their attitudes, their thoughts.  We spend so much time arguing about how the band (or lack thereof) should play, that we lose sight of the true  purpose of worship.  It drives me crazy when people say some form of music is unbiblical or unworshipful. It’s true, God doesn’t mention any guitars in the Bible.  Guitars weren’t invented yet.  But lots of other, modern (at the time), crazy instruments are mentioned.  The only thing God wants of us is us.  “O come let us sing for joy to the Lord, let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.  Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” (Psalm 95:1-2)  “Sing to the Lord a new song; song to the Lord, all the earth.” (Psalm 96:1)  “Praise Him with trumpet sound; Praise Him with harp and lyre.  Praise Him with timbrel and dancing; Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.” (Psalm 150:3-4).  

Your heart, praising Him, whether your voice is on key, whether you are a virtuosic pianist or a young guitarist leading a few friends, whether you are on stage, in the congregation, in your car, in your room, at work, at school, is His favorite instrument.

So other than you, what do you think is the most under-appreciated instrument in worship music today?  

Living History (Keeping the Old Testement)

So yesterday, I hauled out my Old Testement. No particular reason. I always kinda avoided it because it seemed like a bunch of morality tales with a couple books devoted to Israel's doom mixed in. Which is supposed to be brought about by the Giant Lizard People. Or something. It never seemed to have had much to do with Jesus, so it never seemed to have much to do with what I believed.

So that's when I dusted off the book of Haggai. That's right: Haggai. Yes, it's in the bible. Look it up in your table of contents. That is, if you need to. Haggai, Amos, and Nahum I always dismissed as the obscure minor prophets. I always skipped them cause I figured they were about how Israel had better shape up or there was gonna be a God-sized beat down. Which I've secretly wanted to see all my life.

Back to Haggai. It was here, I realized, that Haggai is misplaced. It should be back 20 or so books with Nehamiah. Haggai is a story, more or less. It's about Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel, and his efforts to rebuild the temple. Sounds like Shealtiel sneezed when his son was born, but that's the Old Testement for you. Maybe that's why I've always avoided it.

Anyway, so at this time, the people of God are in a state of flux. They're going from Hebrews to Jews. A nation to a religion. Exile is over. They're going home. To Jerusalem. Yet even with the blessing of King Cyrus, it's no rose garden. Resources are low at best. It's hard enough to build the wall in Jerusalem and a snail could build the temple faster. It's taking years to build just the foundation. Worse yet, there's no way this new temple will measure up to the old one. Soloman's temple was too glorious, too expensive to replicate. Needless to say, Zerubabel is discouraged. He wants to give up.

So the word of the Lord comes to him through Haggai. Soloman's temple was just that: Soloman's Temple. Soloman built it, but even at that time, the people of Israel were turning their hearts and minds to other gods.Soloman built it. Israel didn't. Soloman's Temple was defiled before it was even completed.

But this new temple will be a pure temple. A temple built by the Jews, united in the name of Lord. And because of that, even though the temple will be physically humble, it'll be more glorious than anything Soloman ever built.

So Zerubbabel presses on and sees the temple's construction through. Party.

Because of Zerubbabel's faith and courage and wonderfulness, in Haggai 2:20- 23, we read: "The word of the Lord came to Haggai a second time on the twenty-fourth day of the month: 'Tell Zerubbabel governor of Judah that I will shake the heavens and the earth. I will overturn royal thrones and shatter the power of foreign kingdoms. I will overthrow chariots and their drivers; horses and rider will fall, each by the sword of his brother. On that day,' declares the Lord Almighty, 'I will take you, my servant Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel,' Declares the Lord, "and I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.' declares the Lord Almighty."

So God basically says that, through Zerubbabel, He will do great things. Through Zerubbabel, God's plan will go into motion. And so I turn a couple pages over to Matthew 1. And there, in a place of honor, is the name Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel. Jeepers. I thought the only important names in that list were David and Abraham. And Boaz.

It gives me shivers to think of that. That through all 39 books of the Old Testement, God was leading up to Jesus. Nothing is unimportant. Nothing is overlooked.

Suddenly, the Bible begins to make sense. It's a story. Not a series of stories. Not some good advice. It's a story of epic proportions. The story of Man. The story of God. It has its exciting times. It has its boring times.

It has its backround. Its complication. Its rising action. A happy time with David. Then everything goes to pot. Israel messes up.

Then God does it. He turns his back on Israel. The experiment is a failure. And, yet, in this dispair, there's this is foreshadowing. Whispers of hope. God is about to move.

And then an intermission.

But then, right before the climax, we have a recap in Matthew 1. A hall of fame. A list of men who have given their lives for this moment.

Here, in Matthew, we have the climax.

This is what we've been waiting for.

Little Things

God doesn't call us to be faithful in the big things without calling us to be faithful in little things first.

Sometimes I think it is easier for me to trust God with huge things than it is to trust Him with mundane, everyday things. It would be much simpler for me to believe that He wants me to go pick up my life and relocate to another part of the world. It is a lot more difficult for me to believe He wants me to go to a meaningless recital at 7:30 on a Sunday night that I had no intention and even less desire of attending.

I don't know why this is. Is it because we believe God should only be concerned with big things? Is it because we think He only notices the larger things? Why do we put God "outside a box", so to speak? Maybe (and this convicts me a little) it's because big things don't happen often and little things happen every day. Maybe it's because we would like it if God only told us things once every few months or so. Maybe the little things are easier to trivialize to the point where we have given ourselves every reason to hold onto them as our own instead of surrendering them to Christ.

I would rather go to Haiti for a month than send a text to somebody I would rather not talk to. It is easier to feel called to a church plant than to walking down the hall to talk to that one person you don't get along with so well.

In both Matthew 25:14-28 and Luke 19:11-26, Jesus tells two parables that are very similar about three servants who are given charges of various sizes. The two servants who are responsible and even proactive with their talents or minas are praised and then given big responsibilities. "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'" (Matthew 25:21) God doesn't expect us to move mountains; that's His job. He might expect us to go to the mountain. And He might expect us to do the talking. But before we go about telling mountains to move, we should probably start telling ourselves to move. Faith for the little things leads to the bigger things for a reason, no matter how much more convenient it may seem to just do the big things for Him and handle the small things ourselves.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a concert to attend. :)

Lifeboat Theory (learning to be a snob)

This post was written by Ben Michaels

So my day goes like this: I wake up. I get coffee. My ADD brain kicks into gear. Thoughts tumble over each other like a landslide all day. I go to bed. I wait for the landslide to settle down and my thoughts to order themselves before I go to sleep around 2 AM. Repeat. Generally the last rocks/thoughts to settle down in my brain or the big, heavy philisophical thoughts. And the thoughts about girls, but that's normal and I've learned to ignore them.

So you mix these philisophical thoughts with the thoughts I was having from reading my Psychology text book (homeschool moment) and you get someone who is thinking about how humanity works and what makes people tick. I learned that some people think humanity is just trying to survive. I learned other people think people are always look for patterns, or wholes, in the universe. I learned what Freud thinks. Nuf' said. Sicko. We won't go there.

But I was thinking about Freud and people and Eden and Jesus and humanity and rocks and girls and ethics and labels and politics (and Donald Miller, who weighed heavily on my mind and inspired many of these ideas) when my brain exploded. Or something like that. You could call it a blinding flash of insight but that would make sound like I'm special or something. Which I am, but not like that. I like to leave that open for interpretation.

I remember in my 4th grade sunday school the teacher asking the class a lifeboat ethics question. The teach asked, "You, the President, a female pop star, a married lawyer, and a garbage man are in shark infested waters in a sinking lifeboat. Who do you throw overboard in order to save everyone else?" I can't remember exactly, but I think we threw over the pop star. Adios, Miley.

Looking back, with my landslide-like mind, I think that questions kinda profound. Not neccessarily in our answers to it, but more in the scenario of it all. It's a metaphore.

With that, I came up with a new theory for how humanity works. Freud was wrong.

See, a long time ago in a garden called Eden, we poked a hole in our lifeboat. Now we spend our lives running around deciding who we should throw overboard. That's key. Think about that before moving to the next thought.

Now with culture and technology and over-population we've developed more civilized ways of throwing masses of people overboard. Nowadays, instead of just whacking each other over the head, we spend our lives slapping people with labels. You call them demographics, parties, or demominations, I call them labels. Then, we decide which labels deserve to be thrown overboard and whcih labels don't. It's called politics. Republicans are yelling for Democrats to be thrown overboard and Democrats are yelling for Republicans to be thrown over board. Conservatives and yelling for Liberals to be thrown overboard and vice-versa. Pro lifers are yelling for Pro-Choicers to be thrown overboard and vice-versa. There's no love. If you want to hear what a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal sounds like, turn on Glenn Beck.

It gets worse. Thanks to Satan, even religion has become nothing more than a label. Christians are yelling for Muslims to be thrown overboard and vice-versa. Protestants are yelling at Catholics to get thrown overboard and vice-versa. Baptists are yelling for Methodists to get thrown overboard and vice-versa. It makes someone want to be an atheist. Where's the love? Even something as simple as Morality has been twisted around to be a label. It feels like if you're Moral you stay. If you're immoral, you get thrown overboard.

It goes on and on. I see it everywhere and it's affects. It explains all the war metaphore in churches nowadays. We're in a "culture war." A "battle against the world." I hate that. In war you kill your enemy to win. That's not how it's supposed to work. Nobody should have been killed in the first place, much less in order to further the "cause of christ."

I want no part in that. I hate the "Join a team and fight" mentality. I refuse to be a liberal or a democrat or an evangelical or a conservative or a republican. I hate the Culture War. I hate the lifeboat.

See, no matter how many people we throw overboard, the lifeboat won't stop sinking. Think about that.

So, as people who know Jesus, we shouldn't save the world by throwing all the people who don't know Jesus out of the lifeboat. We should save the world by teaching all the people who don't know Jesus how to swim.

--Ben