Double Takes (A Day in the Life)

So have you ever had a double take while reading the Bible? Like a “whoa, THAT just happened. In the Bible. It JUST said that.” You’re so taken aback by this unexpectedly simple piece of narration that you have to read it twice. It’s like it makes sense. Like it’s well-written.


This happens to me every time I crack open the Good Book. Probably because I don’t read it nearly as often as I should. And by read, I mean read. I went (am going) through a phase where I studied the Bible in minute detail. I’m a Bible Bowler AND an Awana alumni. I could quote 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus for you. I do not need my table of contents to look up Nahum 2:4. I know where it is. You could say I know my Bible really well. I studied it. I’ve earned scholarships to Christian colleges because I know it so well. But I’ve never read it very much.


Lately, however, it’s been different. It makes me sound like an old person, but I HAVE to read something before I go to sleep. Generally, it’s some dumb novel that I’ve grabbed off the shelf. But I’ve run out of dumb novels to grab off the shelf. So, I’ve started reading my Bible. Like it's a novel. Because that’s what it is. A story. Of epic proportions. I’ve realized how much we miss when we focus only on books and chapters and verses and headers.


It’s well written. It’s ordinary writing about extraordinary events. There’s a human element to it.


Even the New Testament letters are interesting when you hear about all the names and people and then relate them to Acts. I love the portion in Acts during the riot in Ephesus where it says, “The assembly was in confusion: Some were shouting one thing, some were shouting another. Most of the people did not even know why they were there.”

This isn’t a crowd of evil no-gooders who hate Jesus and love Satan. This is just a crowd of people. Ordinary people who are swept up in the mob mentality.


Or, in Genesis, you can hear the sarcasm when Joseph’s brothers see him in the distance and say, “Here comes that dreamer!”


But what really hit me as I read the Bible recently is Matthew 14. You look at the headers and you see three, seemingly unrelated, unconnected, stories: John the Baptist is beheaded, Jesus feeds the 5,000, and Jesus walks on water. But they’re not unrelated at all. Matthew certainly didn’t write it that way.


We miss a lot when we jump from header to header while we study and not read.


There are two, key verses here that you would never read together because they’re separated by a header that some editor made up. “And John the Baptist’s disciples came and took John’s body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus. When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.”


See? Doesn’t that read better? Transitions!


It goes on. “Hearing of this, the crowds followed Jesus on foot from the towns.”


They followed Jesus! Of all the nerve! I mean, c’mon. Jesus just lost his cousin. His ally. Because of a whim of Herod. Jesus wants some alone time. But the crowds follow him! So when Jesus gets off his boat to get some serious quiet time, he sees a crowd of people waiting for him. They want him to teach them. Again. They want him to heal Grandma’s gout. Again. C’mon! Can’t they see that Jesus has problems of his own? If there was a time for Jesus to snap, this is it. But does he shout, “Go away! I’m sick of all your little problems!’?


No! It says, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”


He even fed them. Everyone.


Then, finally, after they’re fed and the disciples are sent off on the boat, Jesus can have his quiet time. That was, after all, the idea. But it gets better.

It’s windy. The disciples in the boat aren’t going anywhere fast. So even with their head start, Jesus is able to catch up with them.

By walking on water.

A day in the life of Jesus.

What have YOU read in the bible lately?

I am Eve

I identify a lot with Eve. When I hear a pastor talk about her, I perk up as though they are talking about me. Ultimately I feel as though they are really and truly telling my story when they tell hers. If somebody speaks ill of Eve, I bristle like they've insulted me and would defend her as readily as I'd defend myself--because in my mind I am her.

Her ultimate sin is the same as mine--pride. She wanted to be like God. She wanted to be wise, she wanted answers. It seemed to her there was no obvious reason she shouldn't have them. The act of defiance, the first sin, was an assertion of independence from God, though ultimately the act of enslavement to sin, a far worse master.

I think at the heart of things I must simply be Eve all over again.

The original sinner, you understand?

I want answers. I want knowledge. It's suffocation just being a piece in God's greater puzzle when I want to see the bigger picture. I don't want to be in a role blindly, not knowing what effect I will have on the greater story. Like Eve, I am naïve and susceptible to lies. A child of that Mother of All People, the Dawn of the Human Race, I was born fallen and confused, incapable of separating lies from the Truth. In my childness, I am prey to every serpent that crosses my path. My heart is tumultuously torn from love to love, till each new passion means nothing and the great power of my emotions (once a perfect gift of a fiery God) is valueless. I have traded love of God for love of self, and love of service (that service for which I was created) for love of domination, which sometimes masquerades under the stolen title of "Freedom".

Ultimately the only thing that separates me from Eve is Jesus.

--Sarah

Secret Symbols (Taking it Underground)

Ok. This post is legit. I'm so recycling this post. Like, our 118th post on this blog, when we have millions of readers nationwide and a book deal (hint, hint), will be a recycled version of this post. It's THAT legit.

So I work at the airport. I see a lot of people there. The other day I saw a guy with a Summit Ministries t-shirt on. Here are the thoughts that went through my head:
1. Whoa. This guy's from Summit Ministries. They're legit. This guy's a legit Christian. He's probably gonna evangelize to me right now.
2. Why isn't he evangelizing to me?
3. Why am I not evangelizing to him?
4. Did I just Jesus Juke myself?
5. I wish there was some secret hand sign or some secret symbol so I could let him know I'm a Christian too. To let him know I'm a "brother-frum-another-mother", if you will. Or if he will. What?

So yeah. That's how it went. I think I said something like, "nice shirt" and he mumbled something like, "What? oh, uh, thanks." No prayer, no revival, no baptisms or mass evangelism, or even speaking in tongues. But, hey, he was a brother. And I knew it. And he knew it. Cool.

So what are some symbols we Christians can use so we can stand out to each other in the crowd? Why aren't we so filled with the Holy Spirit that we stand out in the crowd anyway? (oops. That's another post) So here some symbols we can have:

1. The "I Love You" sign language sign.
This one's pretty simple. You hold you hand out and curl your middle and ring fingers, leaving your thumb, pointer finger, and pinky extended. I think it's a hybrid of the sign language letters I, L, and U (go figure). I don't know why this particulare sign is "Christian", but it is. Maybe I just hang out with too many people from Deaf Missions and not enough deaf people. This sign is deceptively like the "rock on" or worse, "Go Texas Longhorns." (I just lost 5% of my readers with that crack) The key is the thumb. That way, if you flash it to non-christians they'll just think, "Huh? Oh, uh, rock on. Go Longhorns." But if you flash it to a Christian you can just call each other siblings of God and greet one another with a holy kiss then and there.

2. The Chi Rho.
This is a wierd one. Sorta. The Chi Rho (Key-Roe) are the greek letters for "Christ". It's basically and X and a P on top of each other. I think you could be creative with this one, but this would be a symbol you'd wear. Maybe like a pin, or a necklace. Or earrings. Or all of them. Non-christians will call it "blingy-bling." But we'll know better. It's so much more. Plus you'll get bonus points during the holiday season when you can explain what the X in X-mas REALLY means (Oh, devil, you can TRY to secularize Christmas with your demonic little elves, but we will FIND away around it).

But when I think of this idea of secret symbols and how I wish we had them, I'm struck by three thoughts:

1. Are non-christians going to copy these? Like, will they notice all the "cool" people are wearing these symbols and will copy them in an attempt to be "cool" too? Am I starting a trend with this? Ooh. Will this be "the Mark" for Christians like in Revelations? Am I single-handedly kick-starting the end times? How square feet in my heavenly mansion did I just lose for thinking that last sentance?

2. Christians used to have a secret symbol. In ancient Rome, when Christians were persecuted, they would use the Ichthys, or fish symbol, to mark themselves as Christians without being obvious. (This is how you do it in emoticon speak: ><>. Can you see it???) They wore their religion on their sleeve. They had gall. But they weren't stupid. What hasn't changed that I want that kind of symbol again? Christians love each other. We want to find each other. We want to hang out (or fellowship). Of course we want a public way to declare to each other who we are. But we're also persecuted. People think we're wierd. (Awww... we're so persecuted... We get weird looks at the grocery store... so intimidating... how can we be public about our christianity in the face of THAT?? I mean, I know in other countries Christians are bold about their faith in the face of getting thrown in pits and their heads crushed by large stones, but still... I mean, I HATE it when people think I'm wierd... but THAT'S another post too). So we need to go underground in our fellowship. We need to be subtle.

3. What changed that we don't have that kind of symbol anymore? I'll tell you what changed: the church. In ancient Rome if you were a Christian, that was it. There was only one church. They didn't worry about whether the other Christians were Babtists, or Methodists, or Catholics, or Lutherans. They just knew that if the other people would say "Jesus is Lord" and that was good enough with them. It was party time then and there on the spot. But if we had a Christian symbol now, how would you define a "Christian"? Who would be allowed to wear it? Would we invite the Catholics? Or the Lutherans? I mean, THEY can go either way, right? We only want "legit" Christians to wear this, right?

I don't know. I don't have all the answers. Or very many, in fact. I think anyone, Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Evangelical, immersed, or sprinkled, anyone who has the boldness to wear their religion, their Savior, on their sleeve is "legit" enough for me. I'd want to meet that person. If they want to wear the "new" Christian symbol, let em'.

So what about you? What would be a good "secret" Christian symbol?

Wandering Off (Pretty)

I don’t mean to wander off, really.  I’m safer when I’m near my Father, and happier.  He protects me and loves me; I know this, and more than just knowing it, I feel it.  These times when I stray away aren’t a purposeful movement--at least, not as a whole.  They start with one little step.  Not even a step off the path.  Maybe they don’t even start with a step.  Maybe the start when I let go of His hand, and try to walk on my own.  I’m next to Him still and can still hear His voice and He can reach down and catch me any time.  It’s just that my hand is hot and I’m a big girl now.  I don’t see a dark and nasty sin and go running after it.  It’s the little things that lead me off.  The “pretties”.

You should know what a pretty is.  All little girls do, I’m sure.  Girls are obsessed with pretty things almost from the moment their born.  It’s one of the first words they learn to say, and once it enters the vocabulary, it is in common usage.  Mommy’s new dress is “pretty” and when she does the little girl’s hair in braids, the little girl is “pretty” too.  And then there’s that pretty tea set that’s up in the china cupboard covered in dainty roses.  And one day, a cup and saucer sit on the table, right where the little girl’s dazzled eyes can see them, and her eager hands can reach them.  In a few seconds and with a good, loud smash, the “pretty” is in many pieces on the floor.  The little girl sits and cries over the “pretty” because it is gone.

It’s like being a little girl in a garden.  All the flowers are pretty, and a well tended garden has beautiful flowers right near the path in easy sight.  All I want to do is pick every single flower and put them in my hair so I can be pretty too, but of course that is against the rules, and my Father is watching me.  And then something--maybe a butterfly, or a distant flower, or a bird--catches my eye.  Whatever it is, it’s a pretty and my girlish heart wants to have it.  I walk after it slowly, carefully judging.  But it’s always just a little beyond me.  Pretty soon I have forgotten everything except the pretty thing I am chasing excitedly.  I don’t realize anything might be wrong.

Until I look up.  The world is not so pretty any more.  The flower garden is gone, the pretty thing I have been chasing is gone, and worst of all, Father is not right beside me any more.  I didn’t think I’d wandered that long or gone that far.  And surely He would have called me back if I had gone off--or maybe He did.  I wasn’t really listening.  In fact, I had kind of forgotten all about Him.  At those moments nothing looks beautiful any more.  The only thing that is pretty at that moment is home and my Daddy’s protective arms.  Of course, I didn’t think about that when I wandered off.  It’s only now, when I am lost and scared, that I realize the only beautiful thing in the world--the thing that makes every other thing “pretty”--is my Father.

Purity In Rules (Dodgeball is Lame)

I don’t know about you, but dodge-ball is as close to hell as it can get during youth group. Nothing says “I love Jesus” than getting smoked in the face with a big, rubber ball or having to get skin grafts for all the rug burns. Maybe I’m just bitter. That happens when you lose too many times at that game. You know the worst part? The chaos. There’s one rule: Bean the other kids. Especially if they have glasses. Now, of course, the youth pastor always adds weird rules to make things more “fun”. These rules generally go like this: “Ok, it’s like normal dodgeball, but when I shout ‘jamboree hulla-balloo’ you can cross over to the other side and hit people with balls and touch the people who are already out so they can get back in and we’ll release wild badger to maul random people and, oh yeah, you can punch people. But only with the love of Jesus. So don’t anger the badger. The winning side gets a +4 handicap when we play our death match of Red Rover AFTER this…”

I guess I’m a board game guy. I like rules. Less chaos. They make things fun. Especially when playing games.

Love’s a game right?

So even though I’m totally not qualified to be righting this, I’m gonna point it out: Christians have a lot more rules when it comes to romantic relationships. Maybe as the outsider in the whole relationship things, I only see the weird rules but there seem to be so many! And I’m not talking about the obvious save-sex-for-marriage rules. There are some weird ones out there.

1. The guy must ask at least 5 people if he can marry the girl.
Ok, we all know he has to ask her dad if he can ask for her hand in marriage, but there’s a LOT of other people he’s gotta ask too. His best friend. Her best friend. His accountability partner(s). His pastor. His counselor. Their couples’ counselor. Oh yeah, and the girl (but really, by that time she has very little say). By that time, the secret’s about as well kept as the super bowl results. The worst part is they all ask the same question: “Are you sure???” Think about that.

2. They MUST do a bible study together.
This one can vary on whether the couple does a private, one-on-one bible study or whether they go to a group bible study “at the same time” (You do not go to a bible study as “couple” unless it is a “couple’s bible study”. Couple’s bible studies are strictly reserved for the married. In all other bible studies, all romantic relationships are temporarily cut off because God hates it when people try to love each other AND Him. They might get distracted.). But, hey, if they’re not showing some semblance of focusing on God in their relationships, that surely means they’re, you know, super worldly and physical and might be as far in as... well... kissing or something! Horrors!

3. They must “leave room for the Holy Spirit.”
Ah, the young and restless! Everyone knows that if two people of the opposite sex under the age of 40 touch each other in ways other than a “prayer hand-hold” or a “Christian back rub”, no matter how accidental, they’re instantly going to jump into bed with each other. They must stay at LEAST one bible-length away from each other. And not one of those little Gideon pocket Bibles or a thinline. No, we're talking the big, coffee-table sized family Bible with all the births and deaths and marriages since your great-great-great-grandfather, Leif Olafson, immigrated from Norswedemarklandia to Minnesota. Nobody ever can agree which country he came from.

4. The terms “dating” and “girlfriend/boyfriend” are taboo.
Hi Steve, who’s this sister in Christ you brought with you? What’s that? She’s more than a sister to you? Oh. Well, how long have you two been courting? I certainly hope you haven’t been ALONE with her, because that might mean you’re DATING. And she’s your GIRLFRIEND. Such worldly language! I mean, you might as well call her your “mistress” that you’ve been “fornicating” with. I mean, THAT’S the fast track to hell… So you’re courting, right? I’ll be happy to be your accountability partner when you struggle with lust in this romantic relationship.

I’m pretty sure Joshua Harris, Author of I Kissed Dating Good-bye, single-handedly created that last one. But you know what? As much as they’re goofy and fun to mock, these rules started SOMEWHERE. They are not arbitrary. There are good reasons to follow them, and it’s a slippery slope not to.

See, the key to these rules can be wrapped up in one word: purity. THAT’S worth following the rules for. Rules make things goofy. Rules make things fun. Rules make things pure.

So cheers. Here’s to Christian relationships and all the goofy, wild, stupid, crazy, amazing times that go with them.

What are some crazy things you’ve done for your Christian relationship?

God's Favorite Instrument

Pipe organs drive me crazy.  Not the sound or anything.  That’s actually pretty cool.  But the fact that they look symmetrical if you aren’t paying attenting, but if you actually compare them, they AREN’T.  The longest pipe on one side is much longer than the corresponding longest pipe on the other.  It has this weird effect that makes me feel lopsided while I am in the same room as one. Plus, if you've ever heard a pipe organ play "Standing on the Promises", all you need to do is add a mad monkey playing crash cymbals and it can make you feel like you're riding a demon-possessed merry-go-round from Mary Poppins. It's bad enough that that movie is of the devil, it's even worse that this effect makes you want to go to the bathroom (so ease up on the communion grape juice).

But this is all beside the point - except for its being to defend my belief that (and I may be martyred for this but I stand by what I believe to be true) organ is not God’s favorite instrument.  It may have been Bach’s favorite instrument and Bach may have been God’s favorite composer (I know neither of these for a certainty) but it doesn’t follow that God would not have been equally, or more, pleased had Bach used his fugue-writing talents to compose fugal quartets for bagpipes.  It seems according to current trends, however, that if Bach were still composing today and wanted to be God’s favorite, his fugues would be written for guitar.  I don’t think God prefers electric or acoustic, but He asks that you have a soul patch (or really any facial hair), or a hat that looks like a prop from a movie set in the 1930s, or wear some sort of plaid while you play acoustic. And, of course, some "on-purpose bed head" and enough hair gel to immobilize a giraffe.  And Bach probably would have stuck with acoustic because the limitations of writing fugues for power chords so all aspiring but lazy electric guitarists could play them would have been too painful.  I do feel, though, that Bach’s look could have been dramatically improved by the addition of “the Crowder” (if you don’t know what that is, shame on you, you dirty heathen), a good plaid hat, and some flannel. Bach, too, would have to be addicted to coffee and would probably whip up a Venti Mocha Frappaccino multiple times while on stage.

The question of music in church is a matter of great contention and anger among Christians.  Hymns versus praise music, instruments versus a cappella, guitars, pianos, organs, tambourines, drums, electric, acoustic, loud, soft, simple, complex, choirs, pan flutes... Okay maybe that last one isn’t every debated.  But it’s a crying shame.  So here are some of the most underappreciated instruments in the world that I think need to be given more attention and maybe become God’s new favorite instrument:

Pan flute

This lovely, soft, airy instrument has a lovely, meditative sound, perfect for prayer times, communion and punctuating the sermon.  It’s such a gentle sound that it could even make a lovely, Hobbit-like soundtrack to illustrate things a little.  How great would a sermon on Psalm 23 be? (The Lord is my shepherd... *enter pan flute sweetly*)  The major downside is anything over 5 minutes would have the audience snoring peacefully and then nobody could hear the panflutes over the freight-train rumble of 85-year-old Bob Finkerton in the back row. Talk about making a Joyful Noise.

Rainsticks

This is potentially the most illustrative instrument in the world.  Right?  Right?  I mean, c’mon, all the song "Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling" (which, by the way, has about the same theological meaning as a turkey) is missing is a good rainstorm.  

Didgeridoo 

Those poor people down under don’t get enough love.  This instrument can scare the living daylights out of people if used in the right (or wrong, depending on the people) place. But that would wake up Mr. Finkerton who fell asleep during the pan flute solo (see above).  It lends such a nice tribal, ethnic sound to things. Plus, it's just a fun word to say, like "garbanzo bean". An Awesome God definitely needs an awesome didgeridoo.  

  

Bagpipes

This, for me, is the clear winner.  Who doesn’t feel like crying patriotically when they hear bagpipes?  We’re all Scottish at heart, right?  Michael W. Smith’s instrumental album Freedomfeatures the bagpipes strongly in the song Hibernia.  This man has done so much to promote this instrument as God’s new favorite and who are we to say nay to Michael W. Smith himself?  He’s the godfather of praise music! The problem is finding bagpipes players. Have you ever met a novice bagpipes player? Or met a bad bagpipes player? Or someone just learning the bagpipes? I think these people pop out of their mothers' wombs just KNOWING how to play. Or they spend long periods of time out alone. Learning the bagpipes. Where no one can hear them. But that's ok  because, what's that? Bagpipes are DEAFENING indoors you say?  Did you?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!! THE BAGPIPES ARE DROWNING YOU OUT!!!!  LALALALA!!! IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

But seriously, folks, you want my real, down-to-earth opinion about what is the most underused instrument in worship these days?  

The people.

Everything about them.  Their voices, their hearts, their attitudes, their thoughts.  We spend so much time arguing about how the band (or lack thereof) should play, that we lose sight of the true  purpose of worship.  It drives me crazy when people say some form of music is unbiblical or unworshipful. It’s true, God doesn’t mention any guitars in the Bible.  Guitars weren’t invented yet.  But lots of other, modern (at the time), crazy instruments are mentioned.  The only thing God wants of us is us.  “O come let us sing for joy to the Lord, let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.  Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” (Psalm 95:1-2)  “Sing to the Lord a new song; song to the Lord, all the earth.” (Psalm 96:1)  “Praise Him with trumpet sound; Praise Him with harp and lyre.  Praise Him with timbrel and dancing; Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.” (Psalm 150:3-4).  

Your heart, praising Him, whether your voice is on key, whether you are a virtuosic pianist or a young guitarist leading a few friends, whether you are on stage, in the congregation, in your car, in your room, at work, at school, is His favorite instrument.

So other than you, what do you think is the most under-appreciated instrument in worship music today?